


your name like a box where i keep my love

by LadyVictory



Series: light the is no mystery annexes [2]
Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Commander Mechanic, F/F, Fluff, Foursome - F/F/F/F, Future Fic, Maybe mild angst, Multi, OT4
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-23
Updated: 2016-06-23
Packaged: 2018-07-16 19:53:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,263
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7282420
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LadyVictory/pseuds/LadyVictory
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Instead of feeling unsteady, as she thought she might if she ever had to see Lexa like this, Raven feels herself growing more centered, sturdier. She rests her forehead again her wife's and smiles reassuringly at her.</p><p>"Well that's just bullshit."</p><p>Lexa closes her eyes, the smallest of pouts on her mouth. "Raven..."</p><p>Raven kisses her again briefly.</p><p>----<br/>Lexa can't sleep, and Raven can't sleep without her.</p><p>Future fic, taking place in the same universe as "the light is no mystery." So, it is a scene between Raven and Lexa, but there is underlying ot4.</p>
            </blockquote>





	your name like a box where i keep my love

**Author's Note:**

  * For [dreamsheartstory](https://archiveofourown.org/users/dreamsheartstory/gifts).



> AN 1: I own 0% and make no money.  
> AN 2: No Gods, No Masters (aka I have no betas...)  
> AN 3: There is an entire history to this that will become clearer as I update "the light is no mystery" but I think this stands alone just fine. (No need to read "light" to get this, is what I mean.)  
> AN 4: dreamsheartstory needed Feels and I provided. Blame them...  
> AN 5: I will never be good at summaries...

Raven groans, rolling over and frowning in her mostly still asleep state when she finds the spot to her left empty. Lexa's gone. Again.

Forcing one eye open Raven looks around, an unhappy grunt clicking in the back of her throat. Even the dim moonlight is an assault on her sensitive eyes, but she persists.

Turning her head left, her suspicions are confirmed - Lexa is nowhere to be found. Her spot on the bed - she being the only one of her three wives that Raven allows to sleep on her bad side, because she is the least likely to accidentally kick her leg or manipulate it into a weird position - is long empty, no impression on the mattress, warmth long gone from the sheets.

To the right of her, Clarke and Octavia have formed an adorable mass of limbs and intertwined flesh; the blonde snores lightly in her sleep, absolutely exhausted by her day, and the small brunette's mouth is wide open, head tipped back and away from her wife against the pillows, a thin line of drool winding down her cheek. It's precious, and not for the first time Raven wishes they still had cameras, so she could capture this moment forever.

Raven's frown deepens as she shimmys over, careful not to disturbed the other two women (as if she could wake them up - they are like snoring, drooling stones), reaching out for her brace once she's at the edge of the bed. She slips it on with an ease born of a decade and a half of practice, and gingerly stands, wincing at the slight creak the metal gives (she'll have to either oil it or give in and have another made).

Making her way over to the large windows as quietly as she can, the mechanic brushes the curtains aside and looks out onto the balcony.

Lexa stands at the edge of the balcony overlooking the city, a beautiful silent sentry. She wears only her sleeping gown, as if she hadn't meant to be out long, and her arms are wrapped around her own body in an attempt to ward off the pre-dawn chill of the spring air.

Grabbing a throw from the couch nearest her, Raven eases open the door and slips outside.

Lexa doesn't turn to acknowledge her, but Raven knows from the tilt of her head that she is aware of her presence. She wraps the blanket around her wife's shoulders and moves to stand behind her, wrapping her arms around the other woman's body and laying her hands over her hips.

Lexa shivers a bit at the change in temprature, but lets out a small pleased sigh and leans back a little.

"You should be in bed," Raven murmurs, laying a small kiss against the back of Lexa's neck.

"The same could be said of you," Lexa replies, but there is really no sass to it. She sounds... distracted.

Raven chuckles a little, rubbing one hand back and forth across Lexa's toned stomach.

"I was gonna say something crude, but really I just got cold without you there to shield me."

Lexa makes a vague sound of acknowledgement at the back of her throat and nuzzles her head back against the other woman, but otherwise does not respond. She goes silent again, returning to her contemplation of her city.

Raven loves that they can be like this - the quiet, comfortable stillness they share. It isn't like what she shares with Clarke - which is sometimes quiet, but more often full of banter and teasing - or with Octavia - who, even after all these years is still a barely contained ball of energy, and more often than not they are in motion or in loving competition.

With Lexa, though, there is... a center. A steadfast foundation that Raven feels inside of herself, as if the Trikru woman's very presence allows the parts of Raven that are cracked and shaky to become whole and strong again. Like she radiates something that makes others able to find that zen place.

It's nice.

Except, Raven can feel that something is off with the other woman, who for the first time in forever (maybe actually ever, as far as Raven's knowing her goes), slumps a little and lets herself be supported (not completely, because she is always aware of Raven's leg, but enough that it is noticible).

"This is the 6th time in the last 3 weeks you've disappeared from our bed," Raven says, not bothering to be coy. They've been together almost 13 years now, and she has never had time for that pussyfooting around nonsense. "A woman starts to get a complex about that sort of thing."

"Raven..." Lexa sighs, but doesn't say anything else.

"You... you know you can tell me what's bothering you. You know I won't think you're weak, and that I can handle whatever."

It's clumsy, her attempt at assurance, but in her defence most of her brain is still asleep in bed, and there is a real kernal of worry in the pit of her stomach. Lexa is always quick to assure, always knows what to say. This is new, her wife at a loss for words, curling into herself with hesitant unsureness, and Raven doesn't like it one bit.

"I... I'm... worried," Lexa admits, turning in Raven's arms and moving pale hands up to play in dark hair.

"'Bout what?" Raven asks, not at all distracted by what would usually have her stretched out on her back, purring like a well kept cat. (After so long, her wife's fingers automatically go to the spots that turn her to relaxed and happy jelly.)

"I... this is... difficult."

Lexa huffs at herself, swallowing hard, and Raven moves her head back to indicate she should stop doing that because this will require actual concentration.

"Is this about the pregancy thing?" Raven asks sympathetically.

Lexa freezes, eyes wide with shock, and Raven can't help but laugh a little. She raises a dark eyebrow and purses her lips in a, 'seriously?' expression.

"What, you didn't think I noticed that you haven't had a visit from Aunt Flow for like 3 months now, and that you've been going to Medical like every other week? Really?" Raven is incredulous. "Also, you're body is still chiselled out of marble, but lets be real, your breasts have been tender as hell and your hips are starting to flair."

"I... hadn't thought anyone was keeping track. And, I have worked very hard to keep my body in check."

Lexa raises her chin, a little haughty pride coming through, and now Raven snorts and rolls her eyes.

"Not only was I first to sacrifice her uterus to one of those creatures, but, we have two other wives who've put us through this. Doesn't take a genius, babe."

Lexa's face is caught between a grimace and a grin.

"We all know - even Anya and Link.  And, let's be real, you know that we all know. You and Clarke were talking about this for like, a year. We've just been waiting for you to say something."

The Commander nods, frowning a bit and locking eyes with Raven's collarbone.

"I wanted to be sure."

Raven's smirk softens into a smile, and she kisses the other woman gently for a long moment.

"What's really bothering you?"

This is where Lexa would normally stand tall, squaring her shoulders and stating her concerns like she was reading an inventory list. She is so no nonsense about being forthcoming that Raven can't help but be impressed.

Except that she doesn't.

She doesn't shrink further into herself like Clarke might, or bury herself in Raven's arms like Octavia would, but reaches up to toy with the ends of Raven's wavy hair and the prominant cut of her shoulderblades. For Lexa that is as good as cowering, and the mechanic is a little troubled by it.

"I am... concerned that perhaps I am too old to deliver a healthy child. Or... that," Lexa pauses, as if unsure of the words she needs to explain. "Ai nou ste yuj bitam?"

Instead of feeling unsteady, as she thought she might if she ever had to see Lexa like this, Raven feels herself growing more centered, sturdier. She rests her forehead again her wife's and smiles reassuringly at her.

"Well that's just bullshit."

Lexa closes her eyes, the smallest of pouts on her mouth. "Raven..."

Raven kisses her again briefly.

"Leaving aside that you are barely in your 30s, with the body of someone a decade younger, and that we have three thriving wild beasts living here that people keep insisting are our children, it's nothing short insane to say that you aren't strong enough. You're the strongest person I know."

"It can be exhausting, being so." Lexa admits, but the corner of her lips curl upward.

"I'm not talking about the Commander, I'm talking about Lexa. And you're lying if you say you don't understand the difference."

Lexa inclines her head minutely in acknowledgement, but isn't quite ready yet to give up her uncertainty.

"This is different."

Raven nods.

"I get it. Believe me. It, it was easier for Clarke and O. I mean, we all have out issues, but, for us - me and you - there is all this extra... baggage." Raven sees the question at the strange term in Lexa's eyes and is a little charmed that even after all this time there are things that stump her. "Complicated feelings because of our past. I... you know I never wanted kids, because of my mom."

Lexa flinches now, old guilt bubbling up, but Raven cuts it off with a kiss.

"Stop. I love my family - my children and my wives and that stupid fox-cat thing Rae and Link insist on keeping around - more than anything. I was scared and full of self loathing, but no one can really make me do something against my will, and I don't regret a single thing about the life we've all made together." Raven sees tears shining in vibrant green eyes and she can't help herself. "Except that time we took the trip to the coast for Floukru's Catch Festival. That was an unmitigated disaster and I will never forgive Luna for giving Rae that fucking stupid giant fork."

Lexa lets out a chuckle, gently butting their heads together.

"It is a miniture trident, and our daughter loves it."

Raven just huffs, pretending to be annoyed. It breaks Lexa's mood, and the pale woman wraps her arms fully around her wife and pulls her in, so that they are pressed together all along the front of their bodies.

"I have been afraid for months. I have felt..."

"Alone? Yeah. This, it does that to you."

Lexa nods.

"Why do it then? Why go through with it?"

Lexa's smile turns a little sad, but maybe also hopeful.

"It is something I never thought I could do. I thought this body would die long before there would be peace. I never thought it would be safe enough. But it... is something that I longed for, years ago, when I was young and had yet to ascend."

"With Costia?" Raven asks, and Lexa makes a noise of affirmation. "Then why not sooner? O would have waited - hell she's still in her 20s technically."

"I was hesitant because I did not want you - any of you - to feel as if you were not enough. You are... you are all my world. Everything I could not even dare wish for."

Raven takes a deep breath, fighting back emotion, refusing to get choked up and lose it.

"We know, baby. We definitely know."

She pulls back a bit, resting her hand on Lexa's stomach. On the outside there are no indications of the wild changes and growth happening, because of course her wife is going to be one of those pregnant women who just pop in the last two months and then probably lose all the weigh immediately. (Raven's a little bitter because even though she regained her figure quickly, she was round almost right away, barely able to walk at all by the time she was due.)

"So, again, why now?" She asks, looking into the other woman's face.

Lexa smiles, and it is beautiful - like moonlight and happiness and fulfilled wishes.

"Because despite my fear, I feel safe. As if I can afford the vulnerability. You make me feel secure; you make me feel safe and loved."

Raven fails at keeping her emotions in check, and there are tears streaming down her face as she tries to speak through the thickness in her throat.

"I love you."

She didn't think Lexa's smile could get any bigger or happier, but it does.

"Ai hod yu in."

She gets herself under control quickly enough and drags Lexa back inside, gently pushing her onto the bed before climbing in after her.

Lexa begins to protest but Raven shushes her with a quiet, 'you know the rules, children and pregnant women on the inside,' and a kiss.

Clarke grumbles and rolls away from Octavia, cuddling against Lexa and splaying a hand over her stomach. Lexa takes a shuddering breath - Raven can tell she is equal parts happy and overwhelmed - and lays a hand overtop the blonde's.

Octavia whines in her sleep and presses against Clarke's back, thowing a leg over her hip and reaching out to tangle her fingers in Lexa's night dress.

Lexa reaches out with her left arm, pulling Raven to her, burying her face in the mechanic's shoulder. They are all asleep in minutes.

 

  _fin_

**Author's Note:**

> In case of a need for clarification, here's some info.
> 
> dreamsheartstory and I have headcanoned this universe into actual existance. 
> 
> This takes place like 13 years after "the light is no mystery" starts
> 
> OT4 going strong (they deserve happiness gotdamnit)
> 
> The kids:
> 
> -Raven/Lil Rae (Raven's bio daughter, Miller's the donor/proud Uncle): ~9 years old (bc Raven would name her kid after herself)
> 
> -Anya (Clarke's bio daughter, upstanding Ground donor): ~6 years old
> 
> -Linkon (Octavia's bio son, Monty is the donor/doting Uncle): ~3 years old
> 
> Any questions, drop em in the comments amigos.


End file.
